Nightclubs! The place to be.

Not doing anything this Saturday night? Have a special someone and don’t know where to take them? Want to try something that’s both different and fun? Then you’re local nightclub is the place to go!

Forget that you don’t smoke, don’t drink, and dance like Virgil from the Thunderbirds. Just join the queue and take part in the late-night craze that’s sweeping the country.

Dress totally inappropriately and freeze in sub-zero temperatures while you wait to get in. have a size-20 bouncer stuffed into a size-10 shirt judge your dress sense. Be abused by complete strangers while you search for ID. Hold out your wrist as instructed and get your sleeve stamped.

Inside it’s just as fun. Become totally deafened by the music. Try your hand at passive chain smoking. Fall down the steps as you wander around in total darkness. Wait for your eyes to adjust then be totally blinded by a spotlight shining into them.

For those of you who like to sit back and relax, we have plenty to keep you entertained. Marvel at how 200 people manage to fit on a dance floor designed for 20. See the girls who inspired all those blonde jokes. Cheer on the the two drunken yobbos who can’t even stand as they try to punch each other out.

We haven’t forgotten you drinkers either. Push your way though the crowd to get to the bar. Be totally ignored by the bar staff. Pay outrageous prices for a drink that is 90% ice. Then try getting back out without have it spilt all over you.

Yes, you can enjoy all this and more when you visit your local nightclub. Have a nice day.

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One Response to Nightclubs! The place to be.

  1. XmarkX says:

    I could never really work out the attraction of night clubs, but assumed that everyone else couldn’t be wrong. However, it seems to me now thatthere is a reason that almost no-one over thirty goes there, and it’s not because they have simply become old and crusty, but rather that that is the maximum age by which most people realise that clubbing is shit.

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