The next hit reality television show

Baxter Idol – Asylum seekers at Baxter Detention Centre sing your favourite songs for a chance to granted refugee status while the rest are deported. Judges include Immigration Minister Amanda Vanstone (the mean one), Senator Bob Brown (the nice one), and MP Petro Georgio (the one who’s not sure which side he’s on). Australian citizens are not allowed to enter the competition, although some have been able to in the past. Television Island – A bunch of scriptwriters, actors, directors, artistic directors, cameramen etc. are put on an island and allowed to make good quality, entertaining drama. They are given tasks such as writers workshops and acting lessons and when they complete them they get more money for their production budget. The show with the audience averaging highest IQ wins. Survivor: Fallujah – Sixteen contestants divided into two teams are dropped into the Sunni Triangle where they face must insurgents, local customs, and avoid being mistaken for terrorists by the US Military. Tasks to gain immunity include negotiating the release of Western hostages, locating the whereabouts of Abu al-Zarqawi, and trying to outrun US roadblocks. If all remaining contestants survive a given week, then a tribal council will be called to vote one of them off. The winner takes home $1million. The Bachelor – Ok, this one’s already been done. Just wondered why the hell would a rich and charming thirty-something Harvard-educated spunk need to enlist the help of a TV network to find a bride? The Dark Apprentice – A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, twelve contestants, all strong with the force, compete to become the Sith Lord’s new apprentice. The contestants are divided into two teams, and are given tasks to complete every week. The winning team is rewarded while a member of the losing team (nominated by the team, but ultimately decided by the Sith Lord) is force choked. Tasks include managing a clone army, manufacturing and selling deathsticks, and pod racing. The last remaining contestant ultimately becomes the Sith Lord’s new Apprentice.

2 Responses to The next hit reality television show

  1. Wayland says:

    Haha, very good Jimmy. I especially like ‘The Dark Apprentice’. I think you’re onto a winner there. But, and please forgive my ignorance, what are deathsticks exactly?

  2. Jimmy says:

    There was a scene near the beginning of Attack of Clones when Obi-Wan is sitting at a bar and is approached by a ‘deathstick’ dealer:

    Elan Sleazebaggano: You wanna buy some deathsticks?
    Obi-Wan: You don’t want to sell me deathsticks.
    Elan Sleazebaggano: I don’t want to sell you deathsticks.
    Obi-Wan: You want to go home and rethink your life.
    Elan Sleazebaggano: I want to go home and rethink my life.

    They never fully explain what deathsticks are (they might in some EU book), but I suppose you can think of them as the Star Wars Universe’s equivalent of cocaine/marijuana/ectasy etc.

    But one of the funniest scenes in the movie nonetheless 😉

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