Metrosexuals are so gay

What is a metrosexual? Is it simply a man who lives in the metropolitan suburbs? Or a man who is in touch with his feminine side? Or a man who enjoys shopping for clothes, has a personal stylist, and is not afraid to wear pink t-shirts? Or perhaps it’s a combination of all three? It matters not. Because the fact is, ‘metrosexuality’ (or is it ‘metrosexualism’?) does not exist. It is a word to describe the apparent recent trend away from the ‘macho’ man, the one who enjoys watching footy and drinking beer; to the metrosexual man, one who gels his hair before going outside to fetch the mail. ‘Metrosexual’ is one of those new words which the media are more than happy to use. Tv shows like Queer Eye espouse metrosexualism. Marketing people also love the word. If companies can convince men to buy cosmetics and wax their legs, just imagine the profits. Gay people also like to use the word as a way of implying that it’s cool to be gay; instead of gay people having to act straight in order to be accepted by society, straight people should act gay. But what the hell does sexuality have to do with it? Since when did going shopping for clothes and reading Jane Austen reveal anything to do with one’s sexual preference? Apart from David Beckham, how many famous metrosexuals are there? There are plenty of famous homosexuals, and a lot of them are more macho than your average metro. Men are told by magazines such as FHM and television shows like Queer Eye that women find metros attractive. Whether this is because homosexual males seem to have more female friends than their heterosexual counterparts, I don’t know. In turn, women like these kinds of men attractive because they are told to do so by the media. In economics, the metrosexual trend is an example imperfect information and is a form of market failure. It also explains why those fucking overrated and overpriced iPods are so popular, but I’ll leave that to another post. At the end of the day, I think this whole metrosexual fad is just that: a fad. It’ll wear out soon, perhaps when men suddenly realise that acting like homosexuals will not really increase their chances of scoring, especially when the competition are doing it too. Dammit, why am I even blogging when the football and cricket’s on!?


4 Responses to Metrosexuals are so gay

  1. Wayland says:

    Well, if there was such a thing as a real metrosexual, he/she would be a person who’s sexual orientation is towards the city.

    How such beings would procreate is beyond me. Even cloning wouldn’t be able to solve their problems. Or it could be one of those cases where the problem solves itself by eventually ceasing to exist…

  2. Anonymous says:

    i think it’s much simpler than that. metrosexuality is just a way for men to use product, wear flambo ruffle-collared shirts, those shades that don’t actually shade your eyes from anything, carpet clothing(oh god how i love those velvet pantaloons) and basically just completely fag out without having to meet the repurcussions of actually being labeled gay.

    the dalai lama is metrosexual you know? oh and so is ghandi. the ‘starved’ look is so *in* these days.


  3. Jimmy says:

    Yes, it is, but I reckon the reason why men all of a sudden have started to wear flambo ruffle-collared shirts is because of pop culture. TV shows and magazines show men with dyed blonde hair, pink tshirts and geled-up hair pulling the chics.

    Do you really think someone would rather be labeled gay than metro? I don’t think being labeled gay is anything to be ashamed off, but being a metrosexual is.

    You try telling someone to their face that they’re a metrosexual 😉

  4. Very interesting website. Keep up the outstanding work and thank you…-pharma

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